It was already late last night and i couldn't sleep. My mind was just wandering. I couldn't stop thinking. I partly blame the vacation talk before we went to bed. We couldn't decide on when and where to stay. I have such a fickle mind! So, another day is about to end and we still didn't book anything.
While I was trying to sleep last night. I suddenly thought of how hard it was being a grown up. We have to make our own decisions and be responsible for our actions. It used to be our parents doing that for us. And we resent them whenever we don't get what we want. Before, when i was younger, i was often asked what i want to be when i grow up. I knew deep inside what i wanted to be. I always had a dream. Finish school, have a career and family. I was blessed enough that i was able to attain almost all of my dreams. I finished school. I have a career and i have a family. Although we don't have kids. I still consider us a family. I may not have the riches that I always wanted. But that is fine because we live a comfortable life.
So what now? That question was really bugging me last night. What do i do now that i am a grown woman. Can i still say i want to be something when i grow up? I got scared thinking that there is nothing to hope for anymore, nothing to dream about, nothing to look forward to, but wait for sickness or death to come knocking at my door. Then it hit me. I was just suppose to enjoy life. The life that i have now and stop worrying about the future. Enjoy the hard work i endured to become a grown up. It's time to make up for missed opportunities because i was so busy trying to grow up. I guess that explains my unexplained excitement when we went to Disney Land. My eagerness to see the wonders of the world that i only saw in the movies, read in books or learned in school. My desire to fill-up my closet with clothes, shoes and purses. Growing up i didn't have much. Now I understand and i know what being a grown up is all about.
Although i know i haven't reached my full potential yet. There is still room for me to grow. So i thought i should go back to school and try to learn some more. I don't like it that i am not learning anymore. I think it's boring and i'm scared i might become a bore too.
Yah, i still have dreams... i want to travel all around the world. Visit the queen. Dine with the stars. And most of all try to match Imelda's collection. *wink*
While I was trying to sleep last night. I suddenly thought of how hard it was being a grown up. We have to make our own decisions and be responsible for our actions. It used to be our parents doing that for us. And we resent them whenever we don't get what we want. Before, when i was younger, i was often asked what i want to be when i grow up. I knew deep inside what i wanted to be. I always had a dream. Finish school, have a career and family. I was blessed enough that i was able to attain almost all of my dreams. I finished school. I have a career and i have a family. Although we don't have kids. I still consider us a family. I may not have the riches that I always wanted. But that is fine because we live a comfortable life.
So what now? That question was really bugging me last night. What do i do now that i am a grown woman. Can i still say i want to be something when i grow up? I got scared thinking that there is nothing to hope for anymore, nothing to dream about, nothing to look forward to, but wait for sickness or death to come knocking at my door. Then it hit me. I was just suppose to enjoy life. The life that i have now and stop worrying about the future. Enjoy the hard work i endured to become a grown up. It's time to make up for missed opportunities because i was so busy trying to grow up. I guess that explains my unexplained excitement when we went to Disney Land. My eagerness to see the wonders of the world that i only saw in the movies, read in books or learned in school. My desire to fill-up my closet with clothes, shoes and purses. Growing up i didn't have much. Now I understand and i know what being a grown up is all about.
Although i know i haven't reached my full potential yet. There is still room for me to grow. So i thought i should go back to school and try to learn some more. I don't like it that i am not learning anymore. I think it's boring and i'm scared i might become a bore too.
Yah, i still have dreams... i want to travel all around the world. Visit the queen. Dine with the stars. And most of all try to match Imelda's collection. *wink*
No comments:
Post a Comment