Saturday, October 27, 2007

Growing Up

It was already late last night and i couldn't sleep. My mind was just wandering. I couldn't stop thinking. I partly blame the vacation talk before we went to bed. We couldn't decide on when and where to stay. I have such a fickle mind! So, another day is about to end and we still didn't book anything.

While I was trying to sleep last night. I suddenly thought of how hard it was being a grown up. We have to make our own decisions and be responsible for our actions. It used to be our parents doing that for us. And we resent them whenever we don't get what we want. Before, when i was younger, i was often asked what i want to be when i grow up. I knew deep inside what i wanted to be. I always had a dream. Finish school, have a career and family. I was blessed enough that i was able to attain almost all of my dreams. I finished school. I have a career and i have a family. Although we don't have kids. I still consider us a family. I may not have the riches that I always wanted. But that is fine because we live a comfortable life.

So what now? That question was really bugging me last night. What do i do now that i am a grown woman. Can i still say i want to be something when i grow up? I got scared thinking that there is nothing to hope for anymore, nothing to dream about, nothing to look forward to, but wait for sickness or death to come knocking at my door. Then it hit me. I was just suppose to enjoy life. The life that i have now and stop worrying about the future. Enjoy the hard work i endured to become a grown up. It's time to make up for missed opportunities because i was so busy trying to grow up. I guess that explains my unexplained excitement when we went to Disney Land. My eagerness to see the wonders of the world that i only saw in the movies, read in books or learned in school. My desire to fill-up my closet with clothes, shoes and purses. Growing up i didn't have much. Now I understand and i know what being a grown up is all about.

Although i know i haven't reached my full potential yet. There is still room for me to grow. So i thought i should go back to school and try to learn some more. I don't like it that i am not learning anymore. I think it's boring and i'm scared i might become a bore too.

Yah, i still have dreams... i want to travel all around the world. Visit the queen. Dine with the stars. And most of all try to match Imelda's collection. *wink*

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Blogging Business

I came upon somebody's blog and she says that she's being paid to blog. I have heard about this but i just don't know how... Well, so i tried to visit the website and learn more about it. I went through the process, fill-in all the information needed to have an account with them. Nothing fishy so far. They didn't ask for too personal information until i logged out and logged back in. They want my social security number! Now that's a bummer! I would never disclose such information to anybody on the web! So there goes my money making dream. I hope someday someone will show me how to do it and lead me to a legitimate site.

Anyway, I am sore from raking the yard for three hours! Yup, I got a lot done. The yard looks so much better now. Tomorrow, more leaves will be on the ground! But at least I got rid of some of them. That's just how fall weather is. You have to deal with a lot of LEAVES! It's not too bad though. The trees looks so pretty when they change colors. But once they're done, then, they end up on the ground. Then they don't look pretty anymore. They look messy and you have to clean it up! After all our hardwork, the neighbor's yard still look so much better. But he rakes his yard everyday! That should make a difference. Saw him kicking a pile of leaves towards the side of the road the other day. Wind was gusting and so that sent the leaves flying all over the place. Most of it ended on our side of the street. Smart-ass!

I realized my entry last week had a little bit of a sad tone to it. It's just that i have been talking to a friend who's having some problems. And hearing her sad story made me sad too. Life is full of surprises and not all of them is pleasant. We just have to be strong and persevere. Just like the blogging business. I know someday i'll figure it out! It might be too late. But i know it'll happen. I'll just keep my hopes up and smile!

Autumn of change... exciting!


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Mistakes and Promises

There's only two things that's certain in life - taxes and death.

I think i heard that from my taxation professor in college. And he's so right! Everybody pays tax and eventually, we will die. No morbid stories here! Just contemplating on decisions i have made in the past. Yes, i did some bad ones, some really awful ones and somehow something that was good enough. Yah, i mustn't have done so bad... I didn't turn out too bad after all.

My sister was having a hard time deciding on what to take for college. She tried nursing school for a while and i guess she didn't do too well. Oh, how she reminds me of my younger days... But not that much. I knew what i wanted to be even when i was only in 6th grade - I wanted to be like my Mom! Tinkering away with numbers.... no, not the engineering numbers, but one that has $ on them! I knew where i want to go to school too! Lucky enough, I got what I wanted and here I am...

Life is never a bed of roses. It is not a fairy tale either. We make mistakes and believe in empty promises. But life isn't too bad. It can be hard but not bad. The good in life outweighs the bad in them. We just always have to look at the brighter side of things. See the glass of water as half-full rather than half-empty. Seize the opportunity that comes our way!

I guess my professor was wrong. There are three things that's certain in life - choices, taxes and death. We are faced with choices from the moment we wake up to the time we go to sleep. Decisions that we have to make ourselves. Good or bad - it makes us who we are. You can make your own bed of roses or your own fairytale. But life will never be perfect. You just have to make the most of it.

Life is beautiful.