Growing Up

It was already late last night and i couldn't sleep. My mind was just wandering. I couldn't stop thinking. I partly blame the vacation talk before we went to bed. We couldn't decide on when and where to stay. I have such a fickle mind! So, another day is about to end and we still didn't book anything.

While I was trying to sleep last night. I suddenly thought of how hard it was being a grown up. We have to make our own decisions and be responsible for our actions. It used to be our parents doing that for us. And we resent them whenever we don't get what we want. Before, when i was younger, i was often asked what i want to be when i grow up. I knew deep inside what i wanted to be. I always had a dream. Finish school, have a career and family. I was blessed enough that i was able to attain almost all of my dreams. I finished school. I have a career and i have a family. Although we don't have kids. I still consider us a family. I may not have the riches that I always wanted. But that is fine because we live a comfortable life.

So what now? That question was really bugging me last night. What do i do now that i am a grown woman. Can i still say i want to be something when i grow up? I got scared thinking that there is nothing to hope for anymore, nothing to dream about, nothing to look forward to, but wait for sickness or death to come knocking at my door. Then it hit me. I was just suppose to enjoy life. The life that i have now and stop worrying about the future. Enjoy the hard work i endured to become a grown up. It's time to make up for missed opportunities because i was so busy trying to grow up. I guess that explains my unexplained excitement when we went to Disney Land. My eagerness to see the wonders of the world that i only saw in the movies, read in books or learned in school. My desire to fill-up my closet with clothes, shoes and purses. Growing up i didn't have much. Now I understand and i know what being a grown up is all about.

Although i know i haven't reached my full potential yet. There is still room for me to grow. So i thought i should go back to school and try to learn some more. I don't like it that i am not learning anymore. I think it's boring and i'm scared i might become a bore too.

Yah, i still have dreams... i want to travel all around the world. Visit the queen. Dine with the stars. And most of all try to match Imelda's collection. *wink*

Blogging Business

I came upon somebody's blog and she says that she's being paid to blog. I have heard about this but i just don't know how... Well, so i tried to visit the website and learn more about it. I went through the process, fill-in all the information needed to have an account with them. Nothing fishy so far. They didn't ask for too personal information until i logged out and logged back in. They want my social security number! Now that's a bummer! I would never disclose such information to anybody on the web! So there goes my money making dream. I hope someday someone will show me how to do it and lead me to a legitimate site.

Anyway, I am sore from raking the yard for three hours! Yup, I got a lot done. The yard looks so much better now. Tomorrow, more leaves will be on the ground! But at least I got rid of some of them. That's just how fall weather is. You have to deal with a lot of LEAVES! It's not too bad though. The trees looks so pretty when they change colors. But once they're done, then, they end up on the ground. Then they don't look pretty anymore. They look messy and you have to clean it up! After all our hardwork, the neighbor's yard still look so much better. But he rakes his yard everyday! That should make a difference. Saw him kicking a pile of leaves towards the side of the road the other day. Wind was gusting and so that sent the leaves flying all over the place. Most of it ended on our side of the street. Smart-ass!

I realized my entry last week had a little bit of a sad tone to it. It's just that i have been talking to a friend who's having some problems. And hearing her sad story made me sad too. Life is full of surprises and not all of them is pleasant. We just have to be strong and persevere. Just like the blogging business. I know someday i'll figure it out! It might be too late. But i know it'll happen. I'll just keep my hopes up and smile!

Autumn of change... exciting!