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I dont know why i feel sad today. It must be the weather. The sun hasn't been out for the past few days. It's been cold and gloomy. I'm stuck here at home coz it's too cold to go anywhere. Besides, i really need time to be by myself and think. Rick has been hinting again that he wants to go on a vacation. I guess he's bored. We dont do anything fun. It'll just get worse once winter is here. We wont be able to go out at all! I feel bad coz he's bored and i am not! A lot has happened to me the past couple months and i feel like i still dont have a system going with my new life. I am still trying to catch up with laundry, ironing and all other housework. So, i am not bored at all! Tired, maybe, but not bored. Although, yah it can get boring when all i do is work and home, but i like that. TV makes me happy. Cuddles makes me happy. Just being home and feel secure makes me happy. I really dont need to go anywhere just to have fun. All i need is something to do.

Now, I realized that Rick and I have different interest. He likes to go out. While I only went to bars before just to meet guys. But now that i have him, i am not interested anymore. I used to like go to the movies and make-out, but with the movie theaters here so small, you cant even whisper or yet, "do" anything! Besides, we dont need to go anywhere just to make out! hahaha I really need to come up with something before he gets really bored. I feel bad too coz i work too much and i always come home from work tired. Something really has to change... Help!

Anyway, it's fall! Meaning, new season of my favorite shows is coming up! Like Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Nip/Tuck, CSI and Dancing with the Stars! These are the reasons i like staying home. I used to have at least one favorite show for each day. But with 7th Heaven and Charmed gone, my line-up isn't complete. Plus i am tired of watching Sex and The City reruns!

I really should get a life!

On Bong

He was one of the first internet boyfriends i had. We started talking way back in 2000. He was still in Manila then. We talk constantly, text, cellphone and emails. Then he went to Singapore and we continued our communication. I know it was a little spendy on his part, calling me almost everyday, but he still did it. I did my part by texting him a lot too. Sometimes I call him. He often sing to me on the phone and i liked that very much. We kept in touch until 2003. But it wasnt as of often as the first couple years. He just got so busy with his work travelling that he couldnt find time for me anymore. I cant blame him. I am thousands of miles away. I have moved on too. But in my heart he has a special place. Because i thought we shared something special...

But i was so wrong! Yesterday i said hi to him in YM. It's not often that i see him go online so i was happy when i saw him. But he didnt recognize me. We never saw each other maybe that's why. But I tried to refresh his memory, but nothing. I didnt understand why. Then i realized, maybe i didnt mean anything to him. maybe what happened between us wasnt special at all! I was so foolish to believe it was.

Well, I guess it doesnt matter anymore. I am happy now. I hope he's happy too... Wish we could've remained friends. But i guess that'll never happen.

You called me - Mahal...