On Bong

He was one of the first internet boyfriends i had. We started talking way back in 2000. He was still in Manila then. We talk constantly, text, cellphone and emails. Then he went to Singapore and we continued our communication. I know it was a little spendy on his part, calling me almost everyday, but he still did it. I did my part by texting him a lot too. Sometimes I call him. He often sing to me on the phone and i liked that very much. We kept in touch until 2003. But it wasnt as of often as the first couple years. He just got so busy with his work travelling that he couldnt find time for me anymore. I cant blame him. I am thousands of miles away. I have moved on too. But in my heart he has a special place. Because i thought we shared something special...

But i was so wrong! Yesterday i said hi to him in YM. It's not often that i see him go online so i was happy when i saw him. But he didnt recognize me. We never saw each other maybe that's why. But I tried to refresh his memory, but nothing. I didnt understand why. Then i realized, maybe i didnt mean anything to him. maybe what happened between us wasnt special at all! I was so foolish to believe it was.

Well, I guess it doesnt matter anymore. I am happy now. I hope he's happy too... Wish we could've remained friends. But i guess that'll never happen.

You called me - Mahal...

Reflection

I was passing waters in the resident's dining room when i realized i wasn't alone in the room. with me was one of the lady residents. she was sitting on her wheelchair, staring at nothing with her mouth open. at first i thought it was funny. then i felt sorry for her. she's in the nursing home waiting to die. how long she waited, that i dont know. but she was already there when i started working at the nursing home. and that was a year ago! I then started to wonder why God let something like that happen to a person, why couldnt he just take them! Suddenly a thought just came to me - they are there so that people like me will have a job. That is very true! There are thousands of nursing homes or assisted living facilities all over the country. Thousands of people working at such a place. All relying on that income for survival. If God would immediately take away those who gets old or get sick, a lot of people will have nothing. I cant imagine what it would be like...

I was almost done with what i was doing. I looked at that resident and smiled. I didnt feel sorry for her anymore. I was grateful. I went to get her and wheeled her to her place. It was still early and she shouldn't be in there. But it's not her fault that the dining room door was left open. Besides, i owe her one for giving me this thought. She reminded me to be thankful that i can still do things, whether i like it or not! Somehow it occured to me that this is just her body, her soul left her long time ago. She is just here to serve her purpose. She's still here for people like me...